Ha, I didn't realize it'd been so long since I've written here. Mostly, I've just been super busy trying to find a balance between our beautiful kids, and Jim. My wonderful family has been helping me out a lot, which is really great. From babysitting the kids, to sitting with Jim, to making birthday cakes and taking our son to scouts, they've been doing alot for us and I really appreciate it.
With Jim, the main focus for him has been trying to get his pain under control. As you know, he's got a lot of reasons to be hurting. Not to mention the fact that it hurts just to get his strength back, and to go to therapy.
Today Jim is being transferred to the last hospital, a rehab hospital where he will be getting very intense therapy for a month or two (it all depends on the health insurance, you know) and then he will be coming home to us. Once he is home, then therapists will come to our home to continue working with him in his recovery.
I cannot wait for Jim to come home to us. He will be where he belongs, and that is where he will finish getting better. It will be so good for him and for us to all be together again.
Yesterday was an awesome day for Jim. Unfortunately I missed most of it because I have a sinus infection, and was at the doctor. But my mom was able to sit with Jim, and he was in the best mood. Smiling, and talking and just being really happy. Not needing his pain medicine as often. By the time I got there, he was so delighted to see me and the kids - he gave us all hugs and talked about how he wanted pizza for dinner. Anyone who knows Jim at all knows that he loves pizza. Loves it. And he had this twinkle in his eye that I haven't seen in a long time. It was lovely to see.
Mostly, though, Jim has been in the agitated stage of his recovery. What that means is that he is aware that something has happened, but he might not know quite what. He needs to be reminded because of memory issues. His comprehension is much better than his expression at this point, so while he can understand what you're saying, and even say stock phrases that are ingrained in a person like "Hi, how are you?" Or "I'm great". Or "Good to see you." He still has problems getting out what he wants to say, and that is frustrating, as you can imagine. And he has been trying to get out of bed, which is great recovery wise, but he hasn't the strength to walk. So now he is in a tent bed, which basically means when no one is in the room with him, he is zipped up in a little tent that goes over his bed. And he can't get out of it, which keeps him safe, if a little frustrated.
He has now passed the phase of pureed foods, and can eat food that has been chopped up into little pieces. Lately he has been doing really well, and last night I got him to eat all his dinner. He has a hard time holding onto the silverware due to fine motor skills, so I usually help him eat when I'm with him. He is still on tube feeds as well, but I hope that will stop soon. He can drink from a straw now as well. :)
Anyway, that's all for now.

Jim is talking!

He is talking! He is talking! He is talking!
Jim was talking to me on Saturday (a week ago now), but didn't get a speaking valve put onto his trach till late Sunday night, mostly because of laziness issues of the nurses over the weekend.
Anyway, the kids and I were there when he got it, and he started talking immediately! His speech is very slurred due to the brain injuries, and it is very hard to understand him. But he does get a few words through.
He wanted me to stay with him that night so I took the kids home to my mom's, and then went back to Jim. He asked about the car, and if we were praying for him, and about his family, and about the kids. I told him it was late January, and he said, "taxes". Which, anyone who knows Jim at all, is a very appropriate thing for Jim to say at this time of year. And before I took the kids home, we said a prayers together, and Jim wanted to say it. We couldn't understand the majority of it, but we could understand him saying "thank you...thank you..." over and over.
He still comes and goes mentally. By that I mean there are times when he is more aware than others. And there are pain issues that are completely clouding his mind, not to mention all the pain meds he is on.
Around 5:00 in the morning, though, he looked at me and said, "You can leave...kids." So he wanted me to go home and be with the kids. :)
But he listens to me talk to the nurses, and tries to understand. He noticed the long scars on his legs, and was worried about them. He heard us talking about the wound on the back of his head, and he pointed to his head, wanting to know about it.
He'll respond to the nurses, etc. Well, mostly. Sometimes if he doesn't like them he'll close his eyes and turn his head away to block them out. That's with the therapists, mostly, though. Because they are harbingers of pain. And it's hard for anybody to like someone when all they do is cause pain to you...even if it's for your own good. But the therapists know this, it's part of their job to make the patients hate them, because, no pain no gain, right? And it's gonna be a lot of pain for my sweet Jim unfortunately.
So he still needs your prayers. He still has months and months and months, and many more months of this to go. Even though he's doing so well.
I really appreciate all your comments. It's lovely to know how much you all care, and it really means so much to me.
This is such a miracle, and it's happening before our very eyes. I'm so so grateful to Heavenly Father for everything, and for all the blessings and the prayers on Jim's behalf.
Now to say this...I've been getting a lot of questions about the accident and the other person involved...and though I really do want to talk about it...I really could say a whole lot...and trust me, I could go on for quite awhile about it...I won't. I have been professionally advised that although I can say all I want to about Jim's condition, I should at this time remain silent about the other matters. So, that's why I'm remaining silent about other matters. :)

The storming has eased somewhat due to the medications. But if he misses a dose, or they are late with a dose, then the storming starts back up again. So he still needs the medications.
He has been moving his right arm more. Yesterday I saw him reach up to his face and scratch his nose with his hand. Twice!
He is still not attempting to speak, but over the past few days he will look at me very intently and move his lips as if he's beginning to think about saying something. He can't really speak anyway, because of the trach that's currently in his throat, and they are working on weaning him down to a size that can accept a speaking valve, or whatever those are called, but there's no rush on that right now. His oxygen levels have been doing great, and he has been breathing room air for over a week now, which means he's not getting any extra O2.
Jim was moved to a new room yesterday. What this means is that he is stable now. But I think it's scary. The nurses in the ICU only had two patients. Now they have up to six sometimes! Yikes. Also, he's not being continually monitored anymore. I think there's a little battery pack attached to him that monitors his heart rate, but nothing visual that I can see, though it's being monitored elsewhere in the hospital.
The kids have been in to see Jim a couple times this week, and they are glad to see their Daddy again. Jim seemed quite happy to see them. His heart rate went down, and he looked and looked at them as they gave him hugs and kisses and talked to him. We sang songs to him and put lotion on his hands, and wiped his forehead with a damp cloth, and then the kids watched movies on my laptop while I talked to Jim the rest of the time.
It's good to see Jim doing things like scratch his nose, but his muscles are becoming stiff and wasting away from non-use. He has a lot of work ahead of him to gain back what he's lost.

Storming

Well, Jim has been less aware these last few days because he is storming. If you really want to know about it, you can read this. But basically, he needs to be kept quiet and in a dark room. For now. Any loud noises, too much handling by the nurses, pain, bright lights, anything can set him off. He'll sweat profusely, shake, and become very agitated. His heart rate soars. His eyes are so dilated that you can barely see any color. It is basically his nervous system and brain over reacting to stimuli. It's becase of the Traumatic Brain injury.

Remember, nobody has told me excatly how severe or not severe it is. They say it's a wait and see type of thing. The storming might go on forever or just a few weeks, and the longer it goes on usually the more sever it is. They know that there's some injury there, but they have to wait and see and wait and see and wait and see.... sometimes I think the wait and see part will never stop.

Anyway, there is a possiblity that he will recover. That's what I'm trying to say, and what I'm hoping for and praying for and believing in. That he will recover.

The doctors are trying different medications to see if they can help, and they are helping somewhat, though it's not completely under control. It's kind of like a double edged sword, a good and bad thing. Good in the sense that his brain is awakening and trying to make new connections, though in the process totally over reacting. Bad in the sense that it needs to be managed, because if the storming gets out of hand, then it can cause more damage.

Today is the first day that Jim has been able to actually get any kind of true rest. In any case, he looks like he is feeling more comfortable at the moment.

Ther are times when he is awake and he looks at me. I talk to him about all kinds of things, and talk to him about things we've done together in the past or things he's done with the kids to help remind him.

Today or tomorrow there will be a doctor coming to unwire his jaw, which I am very glad about. And hopefully an oral surgeon will come to see what might be done for his teeth. There have been physical and occupational therapists in to see him, and they spend a little time with him each day though right now he's not able to tolerate much.

I have found that I can help to bring Jim's heart rate down just by being there beside him. I talk to him quietly and he likes to look at me. I rub his arms and legs and his feet, and his heart rate will come down even more. It's nice to know that I can help him in some small way. The nurses here are really good about letting me do all I want to help him. Today I got to cut his fingernails, something they wouldn't let me do previously at the other hospitals. They were getting pretty long. I put a nice thick lotion on his hands because they're pretty dry and cracked from being in bed for over a month.

Oh, and twice now I've asked him to lift his hand up so I can hold his hand, and he lifted up his hand for me. Then I asked him to squeeze my hand and he did. Then I asked him to let go (that's something the nurses say is very important) and he did. So... for me anyway, he will follow simple purposful commands. Not every time, because I think the storming is interfering sometimes, but he's done it a few times for me.

Slowly but surely.

Busy Week

So Jim's had a very busy week. He was moved at the beginning of the week to another hospital so that he could have the special hip surgery. The doctor at the new hospital is the only one in our whole region who does it. He was in and out of there in a flash and the hip surgery went fine. The back part of his hip socket had been "blown off" according to the surgeon. Part of the bone that usually helps to hold the hip joint in place was floating free in there. So it was joined back together with a titanium plate and six screws. This was done so that Jim will be able to walk.
Yesterday Jim was moved to a new hospital, a recovery hospital where the serious therapy will begin. I'm so thankful that even though he is still completely bedridden and only just beginning to become aware of things that he will be able to have therapy begin.
He is having a tough time. His jaw is wired shut and he has several cracked and broken teeth on top of that which cannot be fixed until his jaw is unwired. He has two broken ones in the front, with exposed nerves. Can you imagine the pain from that alone? They are trying to lower his pain meds, and that is causing him to become very agitated. His heart rate soars. I keep trying to say to the doctors that they are not going to get anywhere with lowering the pain meds until they address his teeth. So please pray for Jim that he can bear this, and pray for the doctors that they will be able to understand just how painful teeth can be and begin to help him with that side of the issue.
Also, he is starting to become more aware which is a joyous wonderful thing, though it's very hard to feel super joyous when your husband is scared and agitated and in so much pain that he cries. Those are his aware moments. So please pray also for comfort for Jim. He is looking at me and recognizing me, which is so wonderful. But he still needs our continued love and support and prayers.

Hip Surgery

So next week Jim will be having hip surgery. It's something that at first they thought they wouldn't have to do, but after consulting with some other doctors, they feel it would best be done now. If they don't, then 5-10 years down the road there could be bigger problems.
It's a fairly big surgery, from my understanding. I'm sure they'll tell me more the closer we get to it.
2 days ago Jim had to get a drain placed in his gallbladder, which wasn't working properly, and was getting swollen. They did take the drain out of his abdomen, though, and now all the stitches have been removed from the rest of his leg.
There are neurologists looking at Jim now, checking on his brain. There is evidence of brain damage, but they just can't evaluate him while he is on all the sedation, so that will have to wait until he has been stabilized.
Jim is reacting to a few more things. Mainly, negative stimuli, he withdraws his limbs from pain, which is a good thing. He moves his head ever so slightly every once in a while, and swallows occasionally. He moves his lips around a little. He'll open his eyes, mostly to negative stimuli, like when his lungs are being suctioned. He really hates that. But every once in awhile, he'll open them for a few minutes just on his very own. His eyes don't track anything, and he doesn't focus on anything, but it's still nice to see them open. The other day, when I arrived and begain talking to him, he opened his eyes to the sound of my voice.
Jim's body is beginning to show signs of healing. The bruising, which was so bad that large parts of his skin on his arms and shoulders looked black from all the blood pooling there, is almost gone. There are only a few places with bruising you can still see. There are a few scars that look as if they happened months ago. The two on his chin you can barely notice. And he has two small surgery scars on his shoulder that simply look like scratches. The surgery scars on his arms and legs all look good too. The scabs are mostly gone, and soft new skin is forming. The one on his knee, where the bone broke through, that's going to take a lot more time to fully heal, but even it is looking better. There are bedsores as well, but they are beginning to heal also.
They have stopped the TPN (the IV nutrition), and are now feeding him through a feeding tube in his stomach full time. They had tried to do that a couple times the past few weeks, but he wasn't tolerating it before. He is also much less jaundiced. And his hands and feet now look all wrinkled because the swelling is finally going down in them. His left ankle is still quite swollen, but it's to be expected since it was broken and the bone poked through his skin there too.
I really appreciate all the comments from everyone. Thank you everyone for your prayers for us. This is going to be a long road, but I have faith and confidence that Jim will pull through this.

Another update

Well, the other day was a really busy and hard one for Jim. He started tremoring at the beginning of the week. It could be from the drugs, or that the drugs were simply supressing the tremors, and now since they are slowly lowering them, they are now becoming visible. Jim was given an EEG to see if maybe the tremoring was because of seizures. During the EEG the tremoring was so bad that the only thing the results could tell the doctors is that it's not seizures, but there was insufficient data to tell them anything else. They are going to give him another EEG on monday and give him a paralytic to stop the tremors so they'll be able to have accurate results.
Jim also received another CT scan of most of his body. The results were that his hip is broken, but does not need surgery. There appears to be no infection anywhere, but he still has the fevers. And he has suffered a stroke. Not a big one, but not a small one either. It's in the right side of his brain, in the sensory area, and will probably affect his entire left side. He had another CT scan this morning, and there was no change, which is good in the sense that it didn't get any worse. The doctors told me that the stroke was caused either by a fatty embolism traveling from his broken legs and up through his heart, or maybe some plaque was knocked loose from his arteries by the hard impact he took when the other car hit him and it made its way into his brian. Either way, we need to pray for his brain.
It has also been determined, now that the sedative is being lowered, that Jim is in a coma. Why? They don't know. The drugs? It could be. He has been on pretty high doses of them. Some unseen brain trauma? Could be. Oxygen loss? Maybe. There are so many variables in the whole thing.
I do know this though. The doctors and nurses have told me that Jim has come so far in the last three weeks that it's amazing. A miracle. None of them thought he would make it that first night. His main physician has told me that in all his years as a doctor, he has never seen anyone who has received so much bone surgery in such a short space of time and tolerated it as Jim did. He's had patients who've had more bone surgeries, but never who had as many as Jim had over the course of these past few weeks. They are all concerned about Jim's progress, and would like to see improvement, but at the same time he has come farther than anyone thought possible. And that's the miracle. It is not Jim's time. He is still here, and my faith is is such that I fully believe that despite everything the doctors are throwing at me about Jim's condition, that Jim will recover.
There are still a lot of "what ifs" and "we don't knows" and "we'll have to wait and see", but that's medicine for you. The human body is ever changing, and as complex as anything out there. What one persons body does, anothers doesn't. But I'm praying not only for Jim, but for the doctors and nurses and all the medical professionals that are caring for Jim that they might be guided to do what is best for Jim and gain whatever insight they need to help him.
Keep up your prayers too, as I am ever thankful for all your prayers. They are helping Jim in ways I'm sure we'll never know.
Oh, and to everyone at Jim's place of work, thank you. Thank you so much for helping to give our kids the best Christmas. I have never seen so many wonderful presents in my entire life, and our children were utterly delighted with everything, and amazed that Daddy's work friends loved our whole family so much. You have helped make our Children's lives brighter this Christmas season, and done a very wonderful, and kind thing for our family. Thank you.